


A Drunken Disaster (Did that actually happen?!?)

by Misaki_kaito



Category: Marvel, The Avengers - All Fandoms
Genre: Alcohol, F/F, F/M, Humor, M/M, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 04:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misaki_kaito/pseuds/Misaki_kaito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there is a party, mead and alcohol, a drunken Tony and a sloshed Thor, an immaculate Loki and a snarky Jarvis. Not necessarily in that order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Drunken Disaster (Did that actually happen?!?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



“How could you’ve drunk-drank?- so much fucking booze?” slurred Tony as he wobbled along, pointing accusingly at a still sober Loki. Loki smirked at Tony’s obviously intoxicated state, and picked at his fingernails disinterestedly as he swirled a martini. The only reason Loki was even here was because it was Thor’s birthday, and that called for a huge, honking party full of mead, alcohol and copious amounts of party games. Twister got particularly interesting, considering the people who played were more than half drunk already, leading to more klutz attacks than usual, and blatant cheating on the side of the spinner. And anyone who was anyone in the superhero community was invited. 

“Just because I do not get wasted every other day does not mean I cannot hold my liquor, Mr. Stark,” replied the Trickster. Tony glared at him sullenly as he clung on to the wall, the only thing keeping him from falling on his ass. It was three in the morning, and the party was still in full swing; which entailed Thor bellowing about his numerous exploits with Steve trapped in a one armed embrace, Peter and MJ making out on the couch along with Pepper and Natasha, and Wolverine sitting at the bar watching the chaos and smirking. Tony swore that he saw Kurt Wagner hanging by his tail on the crystal chandelier, along with an air-walking Kitty Pryde. Tony shook his head before groaning as he remembered that making sudden moves was definitely a bad idea. 

As his vision finally steadied, Tony found himself up close and personal with Loki, the god looming over him, alerting Tony to the fact that he was on the ground. 

“Damn it,” Tony muttered, “I can’t be this drunk already.” Tony tried to get up, but only managed to stumble pathetically right back against the wall. Loki sighed above him, and turned and slid down to join Tony on the floor, undoubtedly mussing his previously immaculate pinstripe suit. Tony couldn’t help but lean against the Norse God, and when said god didn’t push him off, proceeded to relax further to the point that he was pressing against Loki like an overgrown cat seeking affection. 

“What are you doing, Stark?” drawled Loki from Tony’s right. He craned his neck to get a proper look at Loki’s face, finding the green eyes that were glowing eerily in the darkened room.

“T’red. Comfy. Stay,” mumbled Tony as he got more comfortable against the Trickster. ‘Getting comfortable’ against Loki consisted of Tony stealing said Trickster’s arm, snuggling it, and sprawling on his shoulder as well. Loki raised an eyebrow imperiously, before huffing and relaxing against the wall. They stayed that way, Tony dozing against Loki until Thor of all people bellowed,

“BROTHER LOKI! MAN OF IRON!” And Tony bolted awake, the sleepiness from the alcohol be damned when it comes to the sheer volume of Thor’s yells. Tony took one look at the situation, analyzing it at a speed that should not have been possible in Tony’s current state. Thor was running at them, arms outstretched, abandoning Cap and the mead in favor of finding out why his brother and Tony were sitting in a corner. Tony paled, and turned to Loki, who had a similar look of horror on his face.

“I don’t suppose you have any way to get out of here, ASAP?” Loki looked at Thor and back down at where Tony was still plastered against him, and snapped his fingers right before Thor reached them, seeing no way out without taking Tony with him. There was a tumult of green, yellow and blue light and when the world finally stopped spinning, Tony had to put his head between his legs to keep from vomiting. 

“That. Was unpleasant,” gasped Tony as he fought to sit up without puking his guts out. 

“Not my smoothest teleportation, I admit,” said Loki from the wall, leaning against it and looking only a little rumpled. Tony looked around to find that he was in the workshop, Dummy whirring with concern at him while You was pointing uncertainly at Loki. 

“You, leave Loki alone. I don’t think he’ll hurt anyone. Maybe,” Tony ordered, getting his feet back under him, so to speak. He brushed his suit off gingerly and watched as Loki perused his workshop curiously. “Jarvis, you up?”

“How could I have ignored that racket coming from upstairs, sir?” drawled a slightly mechanized voice, its accent British and impeccable.

“Did you just sass me, Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Cool. Now, tell me where the freaking hangover cure is,” Tony ordered, pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes slid over to Loki, who raised an eyebrow.

“You will bring it over momentarily,” said Jarvis. Tony gave Loki a ‘What do you want?’ look, to which Loki replied,

“Do you always allow such impertinence from your toys?” You carried a glass of red glop towards Tony, and Tony gratefully gulped it down, long used to the taste of his concoctions. It took him years to develop the perfect hangover cure that worked preemptively against the impending headaches and nausea. 

“They’re not toys,” snapped Tony, “They’re artificial intelligences- they can learn and think and feel just like you or me. And if Jarvis had a body, he could probably whoop my ass. And yours.”

“Why, thank you, Sir. I believe I am flattered. Now, Mr. Laufeyson, will you be staying long?” Loki blinked.

“Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how I feel in five minutes.”

“As you wish. Now, Sir, would you like me to retrieve the schematics for Mr. Barton’s newest bows?”

“Not now, Jarvis; tonight’s still my night off, even if I’m down here.”

“And what did invite the sudden arrival into your workshop, Sir?”

“Thor, of course. If he ever got his arms around me when drunk, he’d squeeze me to death.”

“And how did Mr. Laufeyson join you in this escape?” Tony looked at everything except the Trickster as he answered Jarvis’s inquiry.

“I may or may not have latched on to him when I was drunk. And he may or may not have been unable to escape.” While Tony couldn’t see Loki directly, he could sense the infuriating smirk on the God’s face. 

“Oh, but Stark, you completely skipped out on the part where you snuggled up against me like a giant cat,” Loki purred. Suddenly he was behind Tony, his arms twining around his shoulders and hips, effectively trapping Tony against his chest and good God, Tony had forgotten that Loki, the skinny bastard, was actually taller than him. A litany of _'Oh my god oh my god'_ was running through his mind as Loki leaned down and licked Tony’s ear, and said in a voice that _dripped_ seduction,

“Let’s see if we can make kitty purr.”


End file.
